KEEPING UP WITH TEENS
The voice of the customer service personnel reverberates within the whole complex of the supermarket I am working with. The rush in the voice echoes to my ear as it pronounces my name calling me to proceed to the Customer Service Section immediately. Leaving the things I am doing, I rush my way to the section with question in my mind, why am I being called?
The moment I got there, the customer service attendant handed me the telephone and said that I have a call. I hesitantly took the telephone from her to answer back the call, and then the moment I said hello to know who’s on the line, a very sad voice answers and from the tone of the voice, I know without a mistake that it is my dear friend who’s calling.
The sadness in his voice seems so serious as I listened to what he is saying. He told me that he wants me to see him if I have a time because he wants someone to talk with. Knowing the urgency of his need I ask him where he was, and what the problem is. So he told me that they have a problem, and he was in a mall near our place and he will wait for me there. Telling him that I will go and see him after work at break time, he said his thank you and I said, hang up there and I will come.
At 12 noon I made my way to see my friend, the mall he’s telling where he was could be a thirty minutes ride in a passenger jeepney popular here in
Riding up in the escalator within the mall to the second floor in a spot we used to hang out often, there I saw him sitting on a chair waiting for me. He did not notice me as I walk near him for he was sitting facing the other direction and his back facing me. And as soon I sat on the other chair in front of him and say hello, I noticed that he doesn’t want me to see him in the eyes. The sadness I discerned from his voice in the phone is as the sadness that is in his eyes, the redness of his eyes tells me that he hardly slept the night, the shade of tears that came out as he cries that night still manifest, his face that used to wear a smile is being painted with worries and disappointment of what he is passing or going through. “Hey friend, what’s up?” are the words I threw to him to break the deafening silence between us trying to cheer him up. So knowing that I’m trying to start a conversation, he told me that they have a big problem, so big that he never thought it would happen. After telling me that word I carelessly guest what my friend problem is, so I ask him if it’s all about her teenage daughter, “is she getting married? I ask my friend, but not expecting him to answer me yes, because I just ask him this question so he may start telling me the real problem. So waiting for my friend to answer back and tell me about his problem, he said a thundering “yes” to my question, so I was the one who was shock by my friend’s answer to my question. Then I shut my old big mouth with that shocking news I never expect also. The once silent sad stricken friend began telling me about her teenage daughter, his plans for her, his expectations; his hope and dream for his daughter that someday she finished college and have a good life, the way he care for her from birth to this time, he told me also how they relate to each other as a father and a daughter and how closed their bonding was, and my friend wonder why his daughter ended up three months pregnant without telling them.
I spend that afternoon with my friend never plan to leave him with that condition. I saw in him that beyond that sadness and disappointment there is a creeping a sense of angry feeling brooding inside him, and I don’t want my friend doing something wrong that he may regret the day after. So I ask him to eat our lunch and to cool down with some ice tea, he is hesitant to eat at first but I convince him to eat and drink later on. After lunch of talking, sharing, and thinking for my friend to come up with the least collateral damage he may face and the best thing he should be doing to rectify the situation, we end up on what may be the only option we could only be offered, and that is accepting the bold reality that her daughter has chosen, and resort to every possible means to extend a helping hand for her daughter in need rather than making an endless blaming of who made a mistakes. Then my friend went home with something he may consider to ponder with, but you know what, I was worried about him thinking about things he might possibly be doing if he was provoked and become angry. The next day he called again at home telling me of the recent development and I was relieved.
That day I began thinking about my friend’s ordeal. I was thinking about the thing he told me and the things I used to see and noticed when we sometimes visit them in surprise. We used to see his daughter with her boyfriend privately talking alone; just wearing a very high cut thin short and a sando shirt partly exposing some parts of her young body, which was left uncheck. She was sometimes seen going out asking her mom to let her go into her boyfriend’s house, which is also left unchecked, sometimes letting them to have a date for some dinner or party with no body tagging along, left unchecked again, she was sometimes being left behind home alone either her intention or sometimes it must be so when my friend and his wife are out of town, very much unchecked, for it might be the lovers opportunity to find her alone and no wonder she end up pregnant at the wrong time.
That evening I talk with my teenage son, I single him out for a father and son talk so that we can converse as freely as it should be the way I prefer it. You see I’m not a psychologist neither like to read some boring theories and books telling things that is hard for me to understand, I feel like being driven an a spinning reel, whenever I read one, then when it became very fast swirling around, the tape is cut and then everything became a mess again, I start up with something I end up with a groggy and empty feeling, so sad for me, any way you try it yourself perhaps you might end up a genius Einstein. I start the conversation with boys talk, girlfriends, crushes, hobbies, friends and school. I make him to feel free to share what’s on his mind and the things what’s in his heart. You know I have that instinct or maybe the wit to make my son feel and understand what I am up to. So catching some keywords to know that I have his heart and mind, and then I begin the brainstorming process which is the hard one. I told my son about my life story, my past, and who I am in the present and what I am doing at present and what I expect in the future, I make my son to see every perspective his choice and decision will give and the very picture of him who he will be and what he will be in the future time of his life. I made my point to be clear to him, in such a way understanding will be a two way basis, and not just my point or just his point but these two points to emerge as a common ground to single out the best out of the two which will serve the purpose. So I told my son about my dream for him my very purpose that we both want to happen, I told my son that I am not against having a girlfriend but not at this point of time of their age, so I told him about my friends teenage daughter untimely ending up pregnant, loosing the very future that should be for her in the future, if she never end up like this. The same way will happen to him if he chooses the same way also. And I believe I made my son to understand.
Gabriel is my first born child, the very manifestation of the love we shared together with my wife. I don’t really can’t express the joy I felt the day the Lord has given us a son, we called him that name of the angel Gabriel, that having him for us is like God is sending us a message of how He has favor and loved us.
And now that he has grown up on his teenage years we just can’t let him be carried out from all of these prevalent existing moral degradation which is the result of these freedom of press and expression which are void from the moral responsibilities and obligation by which has ruin many lives who are also void in understanding. And I will not wonder why there will be many teenage girl so young as sixteen ending up pregnant, and I don’t wonder why they let their teens in Europe and America bring with them condoms and contraceptive pills for them to have a safe sex. When is the time that killing human lives is not a sin? Tell me about these months’ preggy young girls lining up in an abortion hospital which the government has allowed to do so, or what are we going to do with the porno’s lining up to be watch on the video screen of our television sets and computers, or the diabolical ideologies of killing others through suicide bombings and acts of terrorism for the service of their so called God which is now shaping the present world we are living. Tell me about those people, whose lives are marred with sin of immoralities, marching in the streets with banners showing who they were, asking for others and the government to respect their rights. With all of these, are we expecting our kids to grow up right? if we just let these t.v or computer, or these ideology or these people void of understanding in the proper sense of what we call right mindsets be the daily guide of our teens. I absolutely will tell you, No they will not grow up right they will be a bunch of future immoral people selling flesh, some will be ending up in jail, others beggars, poor and problem of the society, some will be that man wearing jacket arm with bombs to kill innocent people and himself with this wrong deceiving guides that shapes their mind. What a pity world it will be.
Keeping up with our teens is keeping ourselves away from future troubles. Don’t keep them away from knowledge and understanding; shape their young mind with right mindset of love, care and respect. Keep them and guide them with godly values and right principles, tell them, make them understand you and your very own good purpose, have time talking, spend some time to play with your teen the way they want it, so that in winning their heart and mind you can be assured that you can guide them in a less hard way and therefore you can easily can KEEP UP WITH YOUR TEENS..
Written and dedicated to my two son, Gabriel and Rain whose lives are inspiration for me to bravely face the daily challenges of having a family, to my wife who is always there for me and help me in proofreading and editing…I love you all…
arnoldream
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